


Coffee and Confessions

by agent_starbuck



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drabble, Early Days, Episode: s01e05 The Jersey Devil, F/F, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 18:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18287723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_starbuck/pseuds/agent_starbuck
Summary: Scully just needs to vent.A short drabble between Scully and Ellen during The Jersey Devil. I may expand on it, who knows...Originally posted on Tumblr.





	Coffee and Confessions

In the short time she's been assigned to the X-Files, Scully has had her fair share of ups and downs. Working alongside her brilliant, often times aloof and esoteric partner has been interesting at the best of times, and absolutely infuriating at the worst of them. Just when she thinks she has him figured out, he goes and turns the tables on her.

 

They'd only been working together a few months and, during that time, she'd stripped to her underwear in front of him, rescued him from a top-secret military base by holding a federal agent hostage at gunpoint, almost lost her life to a hundred year-old, liver-eating maniac, and seen things that had made her stomach turn-- things that had made her question the very science she held as the only true, invariable constant in such a chaotic and unpredictable world. 

 

Yet, for everything she's endured for the sake their partnership, for the sake of helping Mulder’s crusade to uncover the truth, she's never once regretted her decision to stay on with the X-Files.

 

Being a relatively new agent in the FBI, Scully has never had the privilege of being in a partnership before Mulder. She's always been fiercely independent, preferring to work alone instead of being accountable to another person. Sharing herself with others has never been easy. Not to mention, opening herself up to another person, trusting them so completely to have her back, and she theirs, brings with it the possibility of dealing with loss and pain. Since graduating the academy, she's known of at least two friends who'd lost their partners in the line of duty. They had never been quite the same.

 

Maybe-- just maybe-- the fear of losing a partner is what ultimately led her to react with such blatant disregard for her own personal and professional life when Mulder went missing near that Idaho military base. She wasn't going to let Mulder die at the hands of a secret government militia. Or as a result of his own stupidity. She would have done almost anything to ensure his survival, consequences be damned. Scully might be a loner, but there's one thing no one can accuse her of being, and that is disloyal. 

 

Which is why she's stricken with feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion when she finally comes to the conclusion-- during her three hour drive home from Atlantic City-- that her partner could be such a myopic, egotistical, selfish pain in the ass sometimes.

 

Mulder's behavior during this case in New Jersey had nearly driven her to her wit's end with him. His mood was even more capricious than usual. She couldn't quite figure him out. He had surprised her when he asked her to stay with him in Atlantic City and, when she refused, left her to make the long journey back to DC alone. 

 

He'd even had the gumption to ask her if she had a date which, she admits, was amusing at the time since it was obviously the first reason Mulder thought of that could possibly make her want to ditch him. She decided not to let herself get swept up in the reasons why that might have been. 

 

She wouldn't dare let her mind go there.

 

Her amusement, however, was short-lived. The more she dwelled on it, the angrier she became. How was she supposed to find the time, between hunting down UFO sightings and uncovering government conspiracies, to go on dates? To have a chance at a normal life? Relationships were tough enough. Especially, when she didn't keep a normal, 9-5 job.

 

There were no boundaries in their partnership, as far as Mulder was concerned, and that's what bothered her the most. He expected her to drop everything to follow him across the country merely on the basis of wildy unsubstantiated claims about the existence of extraterrestrial life and, the sad part was, she did it all without a second thought. He had sucked her in to this unconventional life of his before she even knew what hit her, and she felt powerless to stop it. She wasn't even sure she wanted to stop it, in some maniacal, twisted way. 

 

She wasn't sure of a lot of things lately.

 

* * *

 

After the last of the colorful paper plates littered with half eaten slices of birthday cake are tossed in the bin, and the tiny guests leave with their parents for the evening, Scully sits with Ellen at the kitchen table, sipping on a cup of hot coffee. 

 

It's dark out, now. She dreads going back to her empty apartment. Her friend's home is cozy and warm, not unlike her own place, but different somehow. Her eyes focus on the drawings displayed proudly on the fridge and the toys dotted throughout the house like whimsical decorations: a toy soldier standing at attention on the bookshelf, a stuffed Dalmatian wedged in between the sofa cushions, a Rubik's cube sitting atop the stereo cabinet. Her heart catches in her throat at how normal it all appears-- and how it's such a far cry from the life she lives now.

 

Is this the life that she wants for herself? Birthdays and bedtime stories, scraped knees and popsicle stained t-shirts? 

 

She takes another sip of her coffee, the liquid burning her throat as she swallows, and she grimaces.

 

“It's not even that I'm angry at Mulder for ditching me,” she waves her hand nonchalantly as she continues her story. “I mean, it's not the first time he's done it, and probably won't be the last. It's that he can be so reckless sometimes, you know?”

 

Ellen looks up from her mug and grins as though she's aware of a secret that Scully isn't yet privy to, before blowing lightly at the steam bellowing from its contents.

 

“And then, and THEN, he expects me to come to his rescue once he's realized he's gotten himself into trouble. Sometimes, I honestly wonder how he's made it this far in life without getting himself killed. But now, you know… now we're partners. And it's not just  _ his _ life he has to think about. I mean, what if the next time I can't get to him in time? What if I'm too late, and something happens to him?”

 

Scully stares off into the distance, unfocused, as though hearing the words actually leaving her lips brings her to an epiphany she's unwilling to acknowledge. She shakes her head at the uneasy thoughts running through her mind, then brushes them away.

 

“Do you know he actually had the audacity to ask me if I had a date today?” she scoffs. “Like that was the only fathomable reason I could have for not wanting to galavant around Atlantic City with him, chasing some mythical beast from a ridiculous folklore.”

 

“Maybe that was his roundabout way of asking if you were seeing someone.” 

 

“Oh, please, El!” Scully laughs incredulously. “Mulder? Nothing Mulder does is 'roundabout.’ That man is about as subtle as a smoking gun. Besides, what would it matter if I were seeing someone, anyway?” 

 

Scully clears her throat, and brings her lips to the steaming mug in front of her, knowing full well that it isn't cool enough to drink, but needing the distraction anyway. She winces as the liquid stings her lips.

 

Ellen opens her mouth to answer before Scully closes her eyes, and raises her hand in the air defensively.

 

“You know what? Don't answer that.” 

 

Ellen shakes her head and chuckles amusedly at her friend's unusually flustered behavior.

 

“He just… God, he drives me crazy sometimes. He's so… I mean, he's passionate, yes. And good at his job. He's brilliant, really. But he's also arrogant. And gullible. And egotistical. And overbearing…”

 

“And cute,” her friend interjects.

 

“And cu--” Scully gives Ellen a pointed look, and rolls her eyes dramatically, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

 

“Fine. I won't deny that Mulder is fairly good-looking. But…”

 

“Buuuutttt?”

 

“But he's my partner. And he…”

 

“He drives you crazy.”

 

“Yes. Yes, that he does.”

 

“I would've never guessed.”

 

If Scully is aware of her friend's playful demeanor, she doesn't show it. Instead, she sits in silence, and chews at her lips contemplatively as if mulling something over in her head.

 

“I think I am going to go on a date, after all. Do you have Scott's dad's number?”

 

“Rob?” Ellen asks incredulously, practically choking on her coffee.

 

“Yeah… Rob…”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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